***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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