haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
