i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
