just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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