I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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