I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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