I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
