you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
