wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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