I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
