the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
