plz talk dirty to me
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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