Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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