He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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