I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
