Yo dont text me then not text me
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
