shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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