If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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