I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
