When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
should my penis look like a turkey
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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