Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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