She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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