we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
