I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
