I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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