She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
