Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
