I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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