just come out here and I will go home with you...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
