My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
