I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
