glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
