dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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