bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
