any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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