I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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