Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
