just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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