so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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