Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
