So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Randomize
