I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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