What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
