He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
