I want you more than these girls want KFC
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
