my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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