I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
