So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The Olympian is in my bed
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