This girl is more easily done than said...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
