So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
