Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I smell stomach acid.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize