i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
