Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
